Three Essential Steps To Get Your Partner Into Swinging
Unfortunately swinging, or involving other people in your sexual intimacy as a couple, fills many people with fears and concerns. However, the truth is that swinging – when done the right way – can not only be enormous fun; it can also bring a couple much closer together in the intimacy of their relationship. This may seem counterintuitive but it is a clue on how to get your lover interested in polyamory if they’re against the idea.
3 Simple Steps To Introduce Your Lover To The Idea Of Swinging
The three steps described here have proven to be very powerful in getting reluctant spouses to be more open to the idea. You’ll see that it is nothing to do with tricking or coercing your spouse into trying it (that doesn’t work and using that approach will usually harm rather than help your relationship). It is really about creating a foundation and a ‘sexual environment’ in your relationship which can make polyamory a very natural outcome. The benefits of this approach are not only that you get to have some great fun swinging, but it strengthens the intimacy in your relationship as well.
Step 1: It’s About You Relationship
The first step is to realize that successful swinging is all about the two of YOU and your relationship. It is not to fill in any gaps in your sex life. In fact, it makes a great sex life even better; it does not make a bad sex life good. So if you are going to try to introduce your lover to polyamory, you should concentrate on improving the sex life between the two of you first.
Step 2: Focus On Your Significant Other
This leads us to the second step, which is to really focus on your significant other. Your goal here is to make them feel loved and adored, that they are the sexiest person in the world to you. You would never do anything to hurt them intentionally and they are certainly the best lover you could possibly ever imagine having. Some people find this difficult, especially if they have been in their relationship for some time. You may feel your attraction has waned for your lover.
You might think your sex life has become boring, which is why you want to add some variety with polyamory anyway. You need to turn this around. Try new things. Even do some of the things you used to do when you first got together. Anything becomes stale if no effort is put into it, and your sex life is just the same.
Step 3: Reinforce Your Attraction To Your Lover
The third step is simply to keep reinforcing you attraction for your lover and building the trust between you. The more trust you can create by making your significant other feel safe to be themselves and express themselves fully, the more they will know that your desire for more sexual adventure is not about ‘replacing’ them with someone else.
Many couples feel that getting involved with threesomes will cause problems in their relationship such as jealousy. However, if you follow the above steps you will find that these problems just don’t arise. However, it is very important to keep the relationship between you as the most important thing; you just happen to involve other people from time to time to experience things you can’t do with just the two of you.
If you would like to become a swinger and your lover isn’t interested start with the approach above. You might be pleasantly surprised at the results!
Going To A Sex Party – 5 Things You Need To Know
So you’re interested in checking out a sex party, but aren’t quite sure how to get started. Fortunately for you, there are underground sex parties just about everywhere, especially in larger cities. Because of health codes, laws and regulations, most sex parties are “roaming” and move from place to place – often from someone’s posh pad to another. If you want to attend a sex party but aren’t sure how to get to one – and what to do once you’re there – check out these simple but essential rules that will help get you started.
Scoring An Invite
An invitation to a swinging get together or sex party isn’t something you’re going to get in the mail. Since most of these groups meet secretly, they’re considered “underground” and usually invites are given simply by word of mouth. Therefore, to get into a sex party – especially a top notch, elite one – you’re going to have to be connected. Invites to the sex party are given by the hosts to certain people, and they in turn invite people that they think would be a good addition. However, not everyone that hears about the get together are able to invite people. Since it only takes one jackass to ruin a great sex party, invitations are issued discerningly. Score your invite by getting out there and befriending people that are likely to be into that scene.
Condoms Are A Must
At a sex party, condoms are an absolute must. Of course if you and your partner are “watching only” and simply participating in sex with each other, that’s a different story. However, if you plan to be having sex with anyone else at the shindig, bring your own protection. A good host will have a “grab bag” of latex and polyurethane goodies that can be passed around, but depending on the type of get together you’re going to, they may not. It’s better to be safe than sorry, so slip a few condoms in your purse before you leave. Don’t expect to have sex with anyone else there without the proper protection.
Alcohol Is At The Discretion Of The Host
Depending on the type of sex party you’re going to and the preferences of the host, there may or may not be alcohol available. Hosts that have been jaded in the past by a drunk that ruined the shindig (because it only takes one) will most likely keep it alcohol free. Some hosts will provide alcohol for a steeper cover charge, or they will allow guests to bring their own and have a bartender there to serve it. Make sure you’re fully aware of the alcohol policy before you go, lest you bring a bottle of wine to an alcohol free party or end up alcohol-less when everyone else has something to ease their jitters.
Everything Must Be Consensual
Remember the golden rule about sex – anything that goes on between consenting adults is all in good fun as long as no one gets hurt. While there may be some questionably painful BDSM going on at your chosen shindig, it is usually okay as long as everyone involved in the activity consents to what is going on. If you’re not into something in particular, like anal sex, make sure you gravitate more towards others who are taking part in activities that you are more comfortable with. Don’t judge, because nobody at a sex party wants someone around who will look down on them for what they’re doing. On the same token, remember that anything you want to do with someone else must be agreed upon beforehand – even if it’s something as simple as giving them a slap on the rear.
Single Guys Are Usually Not Allowed
Many sex parties and sex clubs require that men come accompanied by women and single guys looking to hook up just aren’t welcome. Single guys who want to get into the sex party scene can come with a friend of theirs that is a girl, as long as they appear to be a couple and are comfortable with having sex with each other and other people. Guys, of course, must be on their best behavior and any guy that is being lewd or rude is going to get the boot – and his girl will end up outside with him. Single women, however, are almost always welcomed at these kinds of get togethers, because many couples are looking for a single woman to join the fun. Just remember that the cardinal rule of all sex parties is this: be safe, polite and have fun.
5 Tips To Make Your First Threesome More Successful
If you and your partner have decided to have your first threesome, you may be wondering on how to make it successful. You may be worried about doing something wrong, or being uncomfortable with someone and not being able to do anything about it. Here are 5 must-do tips to make your first time threesome a great one.
Meet The Third Person
Don’t have a threesome with a stranger. Go on a date with your partner and the third person and get to know them a little bit. Go out for a pizza and beer, or a few drinks at a bar or club. Have fun with them, before there’s any pressure of sex involved. Make sure you and your partner are both comfortable with the third person before you actually get in the bedroom and do the deed. Getting to know who you’re going to have a threesome with will help ease everyone’s mind before getting it on.
Speak Up If It’s Not A Good Fit
If you’re having a threesome dilemma and aren’t totally comfortable with the person you and your partner are considering having a threesome with, speak up. It’s not fair if one person isn’t into another, whether it’s you, your partner or the third person. In a threesome, everyone has to click with one another and be into it. Stepping up and saying that you’re just not feeling this particular person isn’t as bad as it sounds. Just be polite and honest when making your feelings known.
Talk About The Rules Ahead Of Time
One of the best ways to make sure you have a swinging disaster is to avoid talking about what you’re okay with and what you’re not okay with before heading to the bedroom. If there’s something that is off limits to you or your partner, let your third person know and encourage them to speak up about anything that makes them uncomfortable as well. Make sure kissing, hugging, fondling, intercourse, oral sex and anal sex are all covered before hopping in bed. The last thing you want during your first threesome is to find out you’re not comfortable with something after it happens.
Take Your Time
Your first threesome isn’t a race to the finish line. Take your time to enjoy it, and if you only end up going to second or third base in your first threesome or foursome, it doesn’t mean you weren’t successful. Feel free to go as slow as you need to. If you’re only ready to make out or do some heavy petting at first, stick to just that until you’re ready for more. Your first threesome is special, but it’s not a once in a lifetime shot. If you enjoy swinging, it’s something you can do at your own pace.
Talk About It Afterwards
Communicate with your partner – and your third person – after the threesome. Talk about what you liked and what you want to try next time, without being critical or judgemental. If it worked out, let your third person know how much fun you and your partner had. If it didn’t, make sure you thank you third person for giving it a go with you. Things get very weird between people when you don’t talk about swinging, because everyone’s thinking something different and worrying that everyone else is on a different page than them.
How To Get A Threesome (Video)
Threesomes are pretty much everywhere. Music, movies and television have been saturated with threesome fantasies and group sex, making having an actual threesome seem more taboo and even more sensual than it ever has before. Western society believes that if one thing is good (i.e. a sex partner) then more of that same thing is even better, therefore threesomes have quite the reputation as the “holy grail” of sex.
Make It Her Fantasy
You will never get anywhere with your partner if a threesome is your idea. She may begrudgingly agree to this to make you happy, but it will do nothing but turn this fantasy into emotional warfare between you and your partner. It may even end your relationship. So the most crucial thing you can do before you have a threesome is to make sure the threesome is something that she wants. How can you do that?
- Watch adult films with her – and we don’t mean “porn.” Most porn is not something that is going to turn a woman on, at all. It can even be derogatory and turn her off of having a threesome altogether. Find a film that is more sensual and erotic, especially one that paints a threesome in a nice light and emphasizes how pleasurable having a threesome can be for the women involved. You can also try erotic literature. Many women respond better to erotic literature than they do visuals because they enjoy using their imaginations more than having simple visual stimulation.
- Roleplay. Talk about having a threesome with your partner, and have a threesome roleplay session with a toy. Use your imagination to kind of bring the threesome idea into the bedroom, and playing pretend can sometimes be just as fun as the actual threesome itself!
The First Time Is About Her
When you finally do have the opportunity to have a threesome with your partner, don’t focus so much on yourself the first time. You may be super excited to finally be acting out your ultimate fantasy, but this often leaves the partner feeling like the “third wheel” which can be absolutely detrimental to your relationship! Make absolutely sure that the first time is all about her and she feels like the threesome is you and another girl pleasuring her and not you getting pleasured by another girl while she watches. Make her the star of the show this time and you’ll most likely have another chance to enjoy yourself in a threesome. If she feels like a third wheel, or feels like you are paying too much attention to the other girl the first time, you can bet your bottom dollar that you’ll never be having a threesome with her ever again.
Make Sure Your Partner Knows You Want Her
After a threesome, communicate with your partner how much you love her and cherish her. Make sure she feels that you are attracted to her and value her above all others. Ask her how she felt about the threesome and ask her if there’s anything she would have done differently or would like to try in the future. Give her a say in it and make her feel loved and you have a much better chance of a repeat threesomeI’m Attracted To Girls – How Can I Share A Threesome With My Husband? (Video)
Ah, the threesome. It’s almost every guy’s fantasy, but men rarely get to indulge in this popular but taboo sexual act. Some guys get lucky though, and their partner is up for a little same sex fun with their husbands – but more often than not, the woman is scared to share her newfound interest with her husband because she’s afraid she’ll have to do it every time to keep her husband from getting bored in the bedroom. What’s a girl to do?
Opening Pandora’s Box
It’s a legitimate fear – she wants to share her attraction to girls with her husband, but she’s afraid she and her husband won’t be able to have regular sex again if they have a threesome. It’s his ultimate fantasy – so if she does it once, how can she ever live up to that again? It’s a fear that a lot of girls have and it’s one that keeps many of them from experimenting in the bedroom. Whether they’re afraid of opening the theoretical Pandora’s Box, or they’re jealous of their man with other women, many guys don’t get to have threesomes with their partners not because their partner isn’t into women, but because their partner is scared of the consequences.
Making It A Reality
If you decide that you want to try to share your attraction to women with your husband, take it one step at a time. There’s no need to dive right in with a straight-up, kinky threesome. Start by talking about girls first. Watch some videos with girls in it together, and try to meet some girls. See what it’s like to flirt and interact with other women. Does it make you uncomfortable? Does it make you jealous at all? If you find yourself uncomfortable at any time, it’s important that you recognize it as a sign to stop from moving forward. Don’t go too far too fast, because you might not be able to go back. Take your time and explore different things with your partner that involve women. You may find something that you like that doesn’t involve a threesome at all.
All Or Nothing?
Having interactions with other couples and other women isn’t all or nothing. When it comes to “swinging,” some couples simply get together and flirt, with a little light play. Some couples just watch each other get it on, while others go all the way and swap partners, share each other and do pretty much everything. Some couples just let the girls play. It depends on what you’re comfortable with, and you’re not expected to do everything all at once. The biggest reason that playing with other couples can fail is if you fail to communicate – so talk to your husband, listen to your husband, talk to the people you’re interested in interacting with and make sure that everyone is absolutely on the same page about everything.
THREESOME TIPS AND ADVICE
A threesome can be an amazing, electrifying, over the edge and breath-taking experience, but if you don’t pay attention to some easy to follow threesome tips you might not get all the pleasure you want.
Excellent tips for a threesome imply that a woman should never be pushed into one if she doesn’t desire it. Safety measures should always be taken by wearing condoms and dental dams. Make sure that, as a woman, you are emotionally prepared to see you partner be sexual with another female. You should also consider the next tips for having a threesome: never allow the guest to sleep over and be very conscious of what you want to achieve by having a threesome. If the relationship you have with your partner is not rock solid, don’t involve yourselves into a threesome. Some tips for having a threesome recommend that the guest should be a person both partners feel physically attracted to. After all, we’re talking about sex here.
Some great tips for a threesome can be translated into a very effective list of do’s and don’ts. Enjoy!
Don’t laugh during a threesome.
Do let the ladies do what they please, even if they forget about you a little bit. You can still enjoy the moment by watching them.
Don’t bring a girl home and force a threesome on your lady.
Do remember both women’s names and never switch them.
Don’t anticipate too much. Try to go with the flow.
Do take notes when the two women are pleasuring each other. You will know what to do when attention shifts to you.
Don’t direct the action. You are not making an adult movie.
Do kiss, touch, fondle between each other.
Don’t try to involve too many fantasies into the first threesome. At one point, it can get overwhelming.
Don’t try to do too much in the first couple of minutes. You’ll have time for everything.
Do make sure that you won’t be disturbed.
Don’t be afraid to tell your partners what you like and dislike in bed.
Don’t boss your partners around.
Do try to be generous and give as much as you can.
Do remember that threesomes are about exploring your sexuality so do things you’ve never done before.
Do set some safety rules. If your partner is not comfortable with you kissing, going down or penetrating the other woman, you should abstain from it.
Do take all the time you need.
Don’t say “I love you!”. Even if you feel like saying it to your partner, keep in mind that it will make the guest feel uncomfortable. And never say it to the guest.
Don’t scream names when you climax.
Do remember to take a shower before you begin.
Don’t abuse alcohol.
Do keep your partner in sight by making deep and regular eye contact.
Don’t video record the experience and pay attention to all the great threesome tips laid ahead.
Do let the ladies do what they please, even if they forget about you a little bit. You can still enjoy the moment by watching them.
Don’t bring a girl home and force a threesome on your lady.
Do remember both women’s names and never switch them.
Don’t anticipate too much. Try to go with the flow.
Do take notes when the two women are pleasuring each other. You will know what to do when attention shifts to you.
Don’t direct the action. You are not making an adult movie.
Do kiss, touch, fondle between each other.
Don’t try to involve too many fantasies into the first threesome. At one point, it can get overwhelming.
Don’t try to do too much in the first couple of minutes. You’ll have time for everything.
Do make sure that you won’t be disturbed.
Don’t be afraid to tell your partners what you like and dislike in bed.
Don’t boss your partners around.
Do try to be generous and give as much as you can.
Do remember that threesomes are about exploring your sexuality so do things you’ve never done before.
Do set some safety rules. If your partner is not comfortable with you kissing, going down or penetrating the other woman, you should abstain from it.
Do take all the time you need.
Don’t say “I love you!”. Even if you feel like saying it to your partner, keep in mind that it will make the guest feel uncomfortable. And never say it to the guest.
Don’t scream names when you climax.
Do remember to take a shower before you begin.
Don’t abuse alcohol.
Do keep your partner in sight by making deep and regular eye contact.
Don’t video record the experience and pay attention to all the great threesome tips laid ahead.
